MOTHERHOOD - A LIFELONG CAREER Years ago when I was much younger, I remember asking my mother one Mother's Day, "Why don't they have a kid's day?" Her response was quick and profound. "Kids' day is every day!" Only recently did I finally understand how really true this is, and anyone who has children will agree. From the moment of conception until a mother passes away, her role as primary caregiver never changes. The instinct to care for the life she brings into the world never ends. The love between mother and child is the closest to "agape" that any human experiences. What mother ever sees her son or daughter as less than beautiful? What mother does not share with anyone who will listen the accomplishments of her offspring? What mother does not cry inside when her child is in physical or emotional pain? On the day my son was born, I remember the magic of watching a new human being enter the world. I stood behind Cheryl and held her hands and both of us prayed silently that Ethan would have all his toes and fingers. But once he was out in the world, the doctor laid the child on his mother's stomach, and at that moment, a lifelong bond was established. I am sure there are fathers who have very intimate relationships with their children, but I contend that these are never the same as that of the mother-to-child. What is it that makes this bond so unique? I believe it is the true "basic instinct." When a mother first feels the child in the womb, nothing can compare to the sense of wonder and awe at the creative ability given to her. A mother experiences the minute by minute growth inside of her. Morning sickness, gaining weight, swollen feet, fatigue, contractions, and labor pains all seem to pale at the moment when the child enters the world, and that child looks at her and knows who is the "lifegiver." A man's part in the propagation of the species is insignificant to the mother's. I hypothesize that the reason sexism exists in the world is because men resent the procreative power that women possess. The only way men can maintain a "greater than" status in the world is through position and exerting power and authority. What threatens most men in the work place is the woman who not only can do her job as well as any of the men can, but who can also find time in her busy schedule to be a good mother as well. The record for bearing the most children belongs to a Russian peasant woman who bore 38 children in her lifetime. I can't even imagine being pregnant that many times. In fact, I can't imagine being pregnant once. For those of us who are the male of the species, imagine for a moment being pregnant, gaining weight, enduring morning sickness, experiencing the rapid changing of our bodies until we have a girth which is significantly greater than what we were used to, and finally, enduring the moment when the muscles in our groins constricted enough to permit a child to enter the world after nine months of living inside of us. And then, and realize that was the easy part, take care of this helpless child for the next two years, day and night, moment by moment, with nothing else more important than this in the world. Most of us would opt to go to work for eight hours a day. An old saying goes, "A man works from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done." It doesn't end there either. Imagine sending that life force out into the world for the first time beyond the sight of mother's watchful eye. Imagine the first day of school, when the child exits the mother's life and moves out into the world, a little man or woman, prepared to face the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune." Imagine the loneliness and isolation when the child, now a man or woman, leaves the home to start his or her adult life, and mother is no longer considered an intimate part of the daily decision making process any more. Ah, imagine, the day when mother is no longer the only one the child loves. Marriage must be an especially difficult time for any woman who has nurtured a child to adulthood, only to pass him or her along to someone else to "cherish, for better or worse, in sickness and health, until death do us part." No, I believe the marriage between mother and child ends only when a mother dies. Motherhood is a lifelong career, a role, a profound status. In many ways, children are not adults until their mother is no longer on the face of the earth to "bail" them out when they are in need. My mother was at my sister's home today in Findlay, Ohio, so I wasn't able to visit with her. Cheryl, Ethan and I stopped by her home to drop off a hanging basket of flowers and some cards on our way over to my mother-in-law's home. It seemed strange to be in the home where I grew up and not have my mother there. I am sure that day will come, but in the meantime, I have to agree with her, "Kid's day is every day." So it is that for one brief period each year do we stop and take time to honor the most important person in our lives. Perhaps there is something unfair about this, but somehow I believe, that most mother's would accept it just as they accepted the dirty diapers, the anxieties and fears, and all the other unique experiences only mothers can endure. To all mothers everywhere, peace and love, and thanks for being willing to share your bodies, minds, and souls with us often ungrateful children.